Thank you for sharing this very personal and affecting story. Human relationship can be so complicated and difficult. I am sorry you were left with such a question and feeling. As Claire said, guilt is so often a part of grief. From the diary entry you shared, your Mom was obviously proud and excited of you for having your book published. So many real illnesses do not show up on blood work and routine tests, and remain a mystery to doctors still. It was likely a coincidence. I hope you can believe in her pride, and heal some of this between you in your heart. Sending big hugs!
Thank you for this brave and painful story. Women had such a paucity of choices in Mary’s era that this kind of resentment is kind of understandable. My own mother was full of it too
Thank you for this, Patricia, and I'm sorry for your experiences with your own mother. As you say, it's understandable, given the circumstances, but wouldn't it have been so much nicer not to have had to deal with it!
Anyway, she, unlike Mary, was an excellent cook. Her baking was legendary. We would get home from school to trays of warm cakes and believe it or not, warm biscuits. I always loved the warm biscuits which were soft and comforting. To this day I don't mind a soft biscuit as the memories are quite fond.
I so admire the women of their generation. Their role in life was to make us kids the best we could be and she, in my case, did a pretty good job.
I was the easy one. My sister clashed with her and challenged everything so it wasn't an easy relationship there, which must have been hard.
By acknowledging the sacrifices made by that generation of women to re-establish some sort of new normal after the war we can only love them more for it. I bet, given half a chance many of them would have achieved far more fir themselves than they were permitted to.
She sounds a wonderful woman and I'm jealous about the cakes and biscuits! I agree that it was not easy for women of our mother's generation - they were still stuck in the domestic roles and had to see our crowd striding forth with so many more opportunities and that must inevitably have been hard. As inevitably, some dealt with it with more grace than others, but I absolutely do salute them all for all that they did and all that they tried to do.
Twins then, Clare! My mother used to say, with a perfectly straight face, that "1921 was a particularly good year," and who knows but that she was right?
Gabrielle, the story of your mother was very touching. My dear mother (orphaned very young, born in Scotland in 1920) was also a WAAF during WWII, serving in Algiers & Egypt. It was a difficult time for women of their era after WWII. Not all women adjusted to a domestic life with not many other available options. May good memories sustain you.
Thank you for this, Ruth, and what an adventurous War your mother had, mine only got as far as Abingdon! I couldn't agree more about how difficult it was for those women in the 1950s and 60s, there were so few opportunities for them and if you weren't good on the domestic front, it was just too bad. I'm as bad as Mary domestically - probably worse, because she had somewhere learned to darn a sock, which I tried once and never again - but I have so much else going on that it's just mildly irritating for me, while for her it was her whole identity. God rest both of our mothers' souls, wherever they are.
Thanks for this Gabrielle. My birthday is 20th August so I some small affinity with Mary. My mother did have a job - she worked in a bank in Finchley but had to relinquish her job, as many women did after the war, to give her job to one of the returning men.
Thank you for sharing this very personal and affecting story. Human relationship can be so complicated and difficult. I am sorry you were left with such a question and feeling. As Claire said, guilt is so often a part of grief. From the diary entry you shared, your Mom was obviously proud and excited of you for having your book published. So many real illnesses do not show up on blood work and routine tests, and remain a mystery to doctors still. It was likely a coincidence. I hope you can believe in her pride, and heal some of this between you in your heart. Sending big hugs!
Thank you for this, Kristi, and hugging you back!
Thank you for this brave and painful story. Women had such a paucity of choices in Mary’s era that this kind of resentment is kind of understandable. My own mother was full of it too
Thank you for this, Patricia, and I'm sorry for your experiences with your own mother. As you say, it's understandable, given the circumstances, but wouldn't it have been so much nicer not to have had to deal with it!
Sorry, I pressed return and it was sent...
Anyway, she, unlike Mary, was an excellent cook. Her baking was legendary. We would get home from school to trays of warm cakes and believe it or not, warm biscuits. I always loved the warm biscuits which were soft and comforting. To this day I don't mind a soft biscuit as the memories are quite fond.
I so admire the women of their generation. Their role in life was to make us kids the best we could be and she, in my case, did a pretty good job.
I was the easy one. My sister clashed with her and challenged everything so it wasn't an easy relationship there, which must have been hard.
By acknowledging the sacrifices made by that generation of women to re-establish some sort of new normal after the war we can only love them more for it. I bet, given half a chance many of them would have achieved far more fir themselves than they were permitted to.
She sounds a wonderful woman and I'm jealous about the cakes and biscuits! I agree that it was not easy for women of our mother's generation - they were still stuck in the domestic roles and had to see our crowd striding forth with so many more opportunities and that must inevitably have been hard. As inevitably, some dealt with it with more grace than others, but I absolutely do salute them all for all that they did and all that they tried to do.
There is always guilt attached to loss Gabrielle, especially if you are Catholic! My mum would also have been 105 this year. 😔
Twins then, Clare! My mother used to say, with a perfectly straight face, that "1921 was a particularly good year," and who knows but that she was right?
Gabrielle, the story of your mother was very touching. My dear mother (orphaned very young, born in Scotland in 1920) was also a WAAF during WWII, serving in Algiers & Egypt. It was a difficult time for women of their era after WWII. Not all women adjusted to a domestic life with not many other available options. May good memories sustain you.
Thank you for this, Ruth, and what an adventurous War your mother had, mine only got as far as Abingdon! I couldn't agree more about how difficult it was for those women in the 1950s and 60s, there were so few opportunities for them and if you weren't good on the domestic front, it was just too bad. I'm as bad as Mary domestically - probably worse, because she had somewhere learned to darn a sock, which I tried once and never again - but I have so much else going on that it's just mildly irritating for me, while for her it was her whole identity. God rest both of our mothers' souls, wherever they are.
❤️
This one merits a discussion of its own xx
Thanks for this Gabrielle. My birthday is 20th August so I some small affinity with Mary. My mother did have a job - she worked in a bank in Finchley but had to relinquish her job, as many women did after the war, to give her job to one of the returning men.